Every week, usually on a Monday, a packet of papers comes home from my son’s school. Usually it consists of a lunch menu, various PTA correspondence, a fund raiser one-sheet, and if my wife and I have been doing our job, a letter from the principle or my son’s teacher talking about how awesome he is and how much they wish more of the kids were like him. (Okay, okay…maybe not the last one, but he did get tapped to be a Lunch Buster. Still need to read up on what that is.)

This week we received a sheet of paper from the district—a head’s up, if you will—about a few films that will be shown to the 5th and 6th grade classes between now and the end of the year.

Yep, those videos.

Continue reading "The Talk" →

So there I was…about to sit down for some lunch with my father, step-mother, Ranger and The Kids. Ranger and Big J were wrestling in the living room when Big J shrieked with laughter, "Daaadddy, you hit me in my penis!"

It was as if a record scratched to a halt in the distance. My father looked up from his newspaper, and my step-mother glowered over in my direction. In a low whisper she said, "Did-he-just-say" (wait for it…) "Penis?"

"Yeess," I slowly and mockingly whispered back.

Keep in mind that we're Texans, true "suthanuhs" my father would say, and there are just some topics that those with proper decorum do not discuss in the presence of others. Especially when you are about to eat. Correct terminology for private parts are one of those topics.

Continue reading "So, what do your kids call their genitals?" →