Last December, my husband and I welcomed into this world our first born son: Lincoln. Lincoln Danger. Yep. As you might imagine, a typical conversation following Lincoln's birth went as follows:

Us: It's a boy!
Friend or Family member: Congratulations! What's his name?
Us: Lincoln Danger.
Friend or Family: (blank stare) I'm sorry, did you say Danger?

After the initial surprise, said friend or family member either feigned indifference, pretended not to notice, or (our favorite) broke out into a "That. Is. Awesome. Why didn't we think of that?!"

When you choose an atypical name (even a middle name) for your child, you must be prepared to answer the why's…

Continue reading "How to pick a middle name your kid will WANT to share" →

At Sundance this week, one of the most talked-about films is an indie comedy about a lesbian couple (played by Annette Bening and Julianne Moore) who are "unwillingly reunited" with the anonymous sperm donor (played by Mark Ruffalo) who fathered their two teenaged children. From everything I've read about "The Kids Are All Right," it sounds like it's a complete winner and completely hilarious. New York Magazine says:

This may turn out to be one of the most significant lesbian films yet made — especially because it's premiering in the long shadow of Prop 8. But straight marrieds will have little trouble identifying with the undermining, bitching, nagging, teasing, and reconciling, either: Lighthearted and uproariously funny, it's not at all a gay-marriage film, but just a great film about marriage.

Bonus: the son character is named "Laser." Why didn't I think of that?!

Read more about the film:

• NY Magazine
• Variety

“That is a girl’s name.”

This is what my stepmother, Dora, replied when I told her I would be naming my son Jonah. I was five months pregnant, and had just seen the grainy boy-parts on a sonogram. Dora, recently emigrated from Columbia and suffering hearing loss, may not have understood me, so I repeated, slowly- Jonah, from the Bible, whale, prophet, male. Dora shook her head, clearly upset. “That is a girl name. You are having a boy.”

We argued over whether Jonah was a boy’s name for days. Proof piled up, and Dora conceded that Jonah was traditionally male, but “sounds too feminino.”

It was the first time I encountered a wave of emotion in response to the gendering of Jonah, who at the time had just grown sex organs visible by sonogram. The threat in Dora’s mind was clear: my son would be intimately linked with something feminine, and it would devastate his male identity. It was the same concern expressed by my mother-in-law, proclaiming “boys learn to pretend with guns,” when I showed her Jonah’s toy kitcen; it was the worry of an uncle who demanded we cut toddler-Jonah’s shoulder-length hair, “before its too late, before he’s confused.”

Continue reading "I feel neutral about gender-neutral parenting" →

Our son, Jasper, was born on March 27, 2009. Throughout our pregnancy, Jasper went by several names.

We didn't find out the sex of the baby, so the names were generally gender-neutral, and, towards the end, centered around whatever food I was eating.

For example, he started out as Lentil because I read on a website that babies are the size of Lentil beans around 6 weeks. He remained Lentil until the 17th week of our pregnancy, when I first felt him kick, and he became Thumpy. After that, our baby was Rolly, Mango, Orange, Thumper, etc.

Even though we didn't find out the sex, I was sure that my mother's intuition was telling me we were having a girl, so all of our naming discussions usually focused on girl names. We joked about naming our baby Curtis Mayfield after the late and great musician, but didn't really plan on doing so because I just kneeeew that it was a girl.

Continue reading "How many middle names is too many?" →

This nursery is so dreamy. It's so tranquil, but with a touch of whimsy that makes me want to scour each picture looking for one more thing to love because I know I'll find it.

Taylor and Leah (some of you may remember Leah from over here) spent a lot of time designing a nursery that was warm and perfect for either sex. As Leah said, "Neither of us have ever been under the impression that girl means pink and boy means blue."

Continue reading "Tree and Royal Tenenbaums-inspired nursery" →