This is the story of what happens when two children of lesbians (each their mother's only child) have a kid. The short version of the story: picture a swarm of grandmas circling the baby like the world's most loving vultures.

The long version:

Continue reading "Tavi's got four grandmas" →

Upon finding out that I am a queer mama, there are a number of common responses I encounter. As I don't have a sign advertising my "queerness" and veer towards the girly side of things (thus screwing up peole's weird ideas of what a queer girl should look like), I often come out after inquiries about my husband. (Because every woman with children clearly must have one of those, right?! That's a whole 'nother rant altogether.) This happens on a daily basis, from anyone to store clerks to other parents and caregivers at playgrounds.

Having kids makes you come out A LOT! I cannot lie – I get sick of coming out all of the time. It's inconvenient and anxiety-producing and awkward and taps into my own internalized crap. Not to mention that having to be the "educator" all of the time gets old pretty damn quick. But I owe it to my kids to be out and unashamed, so I try my best. (Some days are better than others).

I've encountered a number of reactions to my coming out…

Continue reading "Queer Parent 101" →

At Sundance this week, one of the most talked-about films is an indie comedy about a lesbian couple (played by Annette Bening and Julianne Moore) who are "unwillingly reunited" with the anonymous sperm donor (played by Mark Ruffalo) who fathered their two teenaged children. From everything I've read about "The Kids Are All Right," it sounds like it's a complete winner and completely hilarious. New York Magazine says:

This may turn out to be one of the most significant lesbian films yet made — especially because it's premiering in the long shadow of Prop 8. But straight marrieds will have little trouble identifying with the undermining, bitching, nagging, teasing, and reconciling, either: Lighthearted and uproariously funny, it's not at all a gay-marriage film, but just a great film about marriage.

Bonus: the son character is named "Laser." Why didn't I think of that?!

Read more about the film:

• NY Magazine
• Variety

Not sure if any of y'all saw this article in the New York Times this weekend: What’s Good for the Kids, which I found via Mombian.

The article gives a quick look at the early data that's starting to come in about what the measurable psychological differences exist in the children of gay parents.

The results aren't exactly shocking, but maybe I just say that because I'm married to the adult child of gay parents. For instance:

These children tend to be less conventional and more flexible when it comes to gender roles and assumptions than those raised in more traditional families … Same-sex couples, it seems, are less likely to impose certain gender-based expectations on their children …

It feels like common sense, but it's awesome to see the cold, hard data to back it up. I'd definitely recommend reading the whole article, which has some great advice for how het parents can learn from the lessons of their gay parenting peers.

Check out this gorgeous family! This couple, whose wedding you may or may not remember being featured on Offbeat Bride, recently welcomed a daughter into their family of three!

Continue reading "Lara Swanson photographs these mamas from wedding day to birth day" →