Some of you may remember Jesse Bartke's post about he-nesting as he waited for his son. Here's his partner Ashby's story of their water birth!

"You look beautiful when you’re in labor,” I heard my midwife say from somewhere far away. Looking back now, I wish I had been present enough to thank her, to smile or to even recognize that I heard her words. I did hear them, somehow, from the soft blue place I floated. I heard them but they hovered somewhere outside me, like the lights and the noises in the hallway and everything except my belly and my breath and the water.

Continue reading "A water birth story" →

Q: I planned a natural birth with a midwife and ended up in the hospital with all the medical stuff. I feel like such a failure and can’t seem to get over it. Can you help? -Anonymous

Birth is one of those unpredictable, uncontrollable situations in life. You’ve certainly learned that lesson with your whole body, right? And this is really an important, essential lesson to learn because, as it turns out, most of life is unpredictable and uncontrollable.

So first off: Congratulate yourself for successfully undergoing a “rite of passage” where you learned this important lesson! Especially as Americans, we often think we have control over our lives — and we certainly do more so than most peoples around the planet. But ultimately each of us has to grapple with that which is beyond our control. We have to learn about surrender.

Continue reading "You did NOT fail just because your natural childbirth didn't go as planned" →

From the age twelve years I have been told I would never carry a child to term. There were days of depression, fears of never having my own children, feeling like an oddity that I didn't menstruate like my friends and all around not feeling like a "real" woman.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that this did not mean that I would never be a mother – there was ALWAYS adoption and that life was just giving me a different path.

Then on November 7th, 2007 I went in for a routine lady visit and everything was going like normal when my doctor asked me to take a urine test to check for an UTI. Didn't seem too out of the ordinary until the doctor came back in and told me that my urine sample showed that I was pregnant.

Continue reading "Miracle baby proves there's no such thing as a 100% diagnosis" →

bonnaroomama explains: "After my son was born, complications from my c-section left me hospitalized for about three weeks. My family worked very hard to keep my son near me and support my breastfeeding efforts."

It looks like despite those rough first three weeks, Bonnaroomama and her family have gone on to enjoy a rich life full of music festivals and good times:

You have mentioned the necessity of finding a health practitioner you trust and feel a connection with. Do you have any tips for how to go about this? Are there particular questions you recommend asking to help "screen" potential midwives and doctors? Any responses that should trigger a warning?

The very first step is to take some time to read and talk with your partner and others so as to clarify what is most important to you about your birth experience. For example, if you feel strongly that you want to give birth in the hospital, a birth center, or at home, if you want a woman or a man as a birth attendant, if you would like pain-relieving medication as an option or not, if you feel safer with high-tech medical care close at hand or as far away as possible.

Continue reading "How to find the perfect midwife or OBGYN for your birth" →

Our baby, Jasper (Puna'ikaika Curtis Mayfield Kavanaugh-um yes, there are four middle names), was born on 27 March 2009 in Portland, Oregon. My husband and I moved to Portland in December of 2008, and I hooked up with the nurse midwives at OHSU for our birth shortly thereafter.

Before going into his birth story, let me preface this by saying that my husband, Sean, and I were planning a very relaxed (as relaxed as birthing can be, I guess) experience. First of all, we were going to take the water birth with a midwife, dim lights and music playing approach. Second, we attempted to choose a birthing center in Portland, but insurance wouldn't cover it.

Finally, we in no way anticipated that our baby would come two months early, thus necessitating a switch from the midwives to the OBs in the hospital, have a rare platelet disorder, and spend a month in the NICU.

Continue reading "Surviving the NICU" →