About
Values
Staff
Questions
ContactCheekily answered by Offbeat Mama's founder, Ariel Meadow Stallings
Why did you start Offbeat Mama?
After I wrote my book, Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, people were always asking what would come next. The questions only got more insistent after I founded offbeatbride.com. I always explained that it was up to each reader to decide — offbeat wife is next, sure. But that includes so many different paths. Do you want to focus on your offbeat career? Offbeat grad school? Offbeat world travels? Offbeat homeowner? Offbeat activism? Offbeat artist? There's a lot of shit to do after you get married! The options were too big for me to wrap my brain (or a website) around.
Of course, one thing that some (but certainly not all!) people choose to do after planning an offbeat wedding is starting an offbeat family. It's just one of many options, but it's also an option that lends itself to a fun website. FUN is key here. After spending 5 years with day jobs in staffing/recruiting, Offbeat Career would be an sensible thing for me to do … but ug: not so much with the fun factor. Would you rather blog about colorful nontraditional families, or write advice about resume editing? I loves me my career development, but blogging about marketing and resume tips and stuff like that isn't my idea of FUN.
So, when I got pregnant in early 2009 (five years after getting married), I figured why not? Let's see where Offbeat Mama can go.
One thing I want to clarify, even though it feels silly to say: just because I chose to follow Offbeat Bride with Offbeat Mama in NO WAY means I think getting married and starting a family is somehow the best or only life path for nontraditional women. I support women deciding for themselves whether parenthood is a path that interests them, and think it's fucking awesome that many wonderful women choose other paths.
But my offbeat work has always been about helping women find their nontraditional ways through life phases steeped in cultural expectations and templates. When you're weird, but you decide to do something "normal," it's almost harder to keep track of yourself than when you stay completely away from normative behavior. If you give an inch to tradition, mainstream culture seems to want to take a mile.
What about offbeat papas? Why are you so focused on women?
Because I like boobs!
No, just kidding. Or not really, but here's a more in-depth answer: while Offbeat Mama features an Offbeat Papas category (just as Offbeat Bride features an Offbeat Grooms category), my focus is definitely on women's communities. It's what I know and do best. You could even argue that it's in my blood: my mother runs an eco-retreat center focused on women's groups and events.
I LOVES me some men (hottie DILFs FTW!), and this site being called Offbeat Mama certainly isn't meant to indicate that I'm somehow minimizing men's roles in raising children and being part of their families. I think hands-on parental gender equality is one of the biggest issues in contemporary families, and it's something my husband and I talk about A LOT. That said, I'm good at running websites and online communities for women … so I leave the papa talk to parenting websites run by badass dads, like Daddy Types or the guys mentioned in this great list of dad blogs.
Where's the forum!?
One of the most frequent questions about Offbeat Mama is whether there's going to be a forum/online community like the Offbeat Bride Tribe. The answer is definitely no. Unfortunately, in my many years online, I've yet to see a parenting forum that didn't eventually devolve into angry debates, accusations, and flame wars. I simply don't have the resources to moderate a forum, and mama ain't got time for drama! So there are no plans to start an Offbeat Mama forum, although I encourage you to get involved with Offbeat Mama in other ways!
