Q: I planned a natural birth with a midwife and ended up in the hospital with all the medical stuff. I feel like such a failure and can’t seem to get over it. Can you help? -Anonymous

Birth is one of those unpredictable, uncontrollable situations in life. You’ve certainly learned that lesson with your whole body, right? And this is really an important, essential lesson to learn because, as it turns out, most of life is unpredictable and uncontrollable.

So first off: Congratulate yourself for successfully undergoing a “rite of passage” where you learned this important lesson! Especially as Americans, we often think we have control over our lives — and we certainly do more so than most peoples around the planet. But ultimately each of us has to grapple with that which is beyond our control. We have to learn about surrender.

Continue reading "You did NOT fail just because your natural childbirth didn't go as planned" →

This is the story of what happens when two children of lesbians (each their mother's only child) have a kid. The short version of the story: picture a swarm of grandmas circling the baby like the world's most loving vultures.

The long version:

Continue reading "Tavi's got four grandmas" →

A very special thanks to Rebecca for sharing her amazing maternity photos with us:

Photo by Katsoulis Photography

She explains, "I had a 2 hour photo shoot done yesterday at my apartment. As soon as the photographer walked in and saw my snakes he was all about taking pictures with them."

One more of Rebecca's photos from Katsoulis Photography after the jump!

Continue reading "Snakey maternity photos" →

The response to Natasha's Queer Parent 101 post was so overwhelming, that I've asked her to become a regular contributor here on Offbeat Mama!

I am a feminist. I believe firmly that a woman's "place" is wherever she wants and needs to be. (I wish very much that we lived in a world where that were possible for all women). I also believe that happy (reasonably) well-adjusted parents make happy, (reasonably) well adjusted children, regardless of whether those parents work outside or inside of the home. So why is it that I find it so difficult to answer the question: "What do you do for a living?" I find it equally distressing to respond to the ever present: "So, when are you going back to work?"

I hate the word housewife. I hate the word homemaker. These words are so loaded with patriarchal bullshit that I can barely utter them in any seriousness, much less use them to describe myself or what I do. Yet that's the check-box that applies to me. And because of it, I get dismissed by the folks at the bank, the car dealership, and occassionally, other parents. It feels like a pretty limiting check box. But what else do I call myself? How can I encapsulate what I do, day in and day out, without sounding either overly-simplistic or self-denigrating?

Continue reading "Yes, I am a feminist housewife" →

So, if there is a little girl in your life, you may have noticed that they are not too terribly bothered about modesty when wearing dresses and skirts. That's all fine and dandy of course — no shame issues need apply!

However, for many reasons, and especially at recess, Bloomers like this adorable pair from littlemave are a great solution.

These are perfect for the girl who likes dresses but still wants to hang upside down on the monkey bars or do cartwheels, or for the girl who thinks tights are itchy. These bloomers could make cute pants, too!

Last December, my husband and I welcomed into this world our first born son: Lincoln. Lincoln Danger. Yep. As you might imagine, a typical conversation following Lincoln's birth went as follows:

Us: It's a boy!
Friend or Family member: Congratulations! What's his name?
Us: Lincoln Danger.
Friend or Family: (blank stare) I'm sorry, did you say Danger?

After the initial surprise, said friend or family member either feigned indifference, pretended not to notice, or (our favorite) broke out into a "That. Is. Awesome. Why didn't we think of that?!"

When you choose an atypical name (even a middle name) for your child, you must be prepared to answer the why's…

Continue reading "How to pick a middle name your kid will WANT to share" →