For Halloween last year, my son, Owen, was a robot. I made his costume from duct tape, parts of old electronic equipment, LED Christmas lights, and dimmer switches. It was comfortable and safe for him to wear, it stood up to lots of abuse and monkey-like toddler behavior, and it only cost me about 15 bucks to make. Here's how I did it:

Continue reading "How to make a light-up robot costume for $15" →

In traditional terms I wouldn’t be considered a parent. I have never given birth, I hold no legal guardianship over another life, but I was born a mother. My maternal instinct kicked in early. I love taking care of people and kids absolutely melt me. So when my mom started talking about wanting to become involved with foster care I absolutely supported her. My two younger sisters were slightly more hesitant but decided to come along for the ride. So we decided to take the plunge; after about a year of taking parenting classes, being interviewed and evaluated my mom became a foster parent.

Four years later we are still here taking these amazing children into our homes and into our lives. It has been some of my most rewarding, exhausting, and emotional years. But I’m not writing to talk about the ups and downs of foster parenting (although it’s been quite a rollercoaster). I would like to tell more of a precautionary tale to the onlookers gazing from the sidelines…

Continue reading "I'm a stay-at-home sister. Let me tell you about The Look." →

At the beginning of this current pregnancy, I was more prepared, more focused, and much more ready than I was for the birth of my daughter seven years ago. Rather than the pregnancy itself being the focus of my life as it was then, I was already thinking ahead to the arrival of the baby, and working out the logistics of birth and newborn care. I wasn’t very proactive about the birth of my first child, my fear of the entire process led me to just do as the doctor told me- and while I in no way felt he misled me or did a poor job — I felt strongly that being more active in the process could have saved me some pain (and possibly a few extra stitches) in the end.

Long before we made that ‘end-of-the-first-trimester-safe-zone’ announcement, I set out to arm myself with information. I bought twenty or so different books, ranging topically from c-sections to homebirths, joined every pregnancy website I could find, pored over every birth story I could get my greedy little hands on, and began deciding just how things would go this time around…

Continue reading "Why I threw out my birth plan" →

From the very start of my pregnancy, I knew that my little one would come before her due date, maybe a week or two early.

Never in my wildest imaginings did I think she would be ELEVEN weeks early!

It was Tuesday, March 3, 2009. I woke up with the most intensive heartburn I had ever felt in my life and I got sick as soon as I made it to the bathroom. I had experienced some pretty bad morning sickness, but nothing like this.

Continue reading "Eleven weeks early and a fighter from the start" →

The noise-canceling headset did not cancel out the noise of my miniature screaming copilot at an altitude of 10,500 feet. My three month-old daughter Emma, was an unwilling second-in-command.

Her infant car seat had attached so nicely to the right front seat of my Mooney TLS single-engine airplane that our loving mother-daughter piloting adventures seemed meant to be. Had Mooney planned for this in the design of their TLS? After all, there are more and more women pilots every day. Surely they sought to accommodate the infants that these women pilots would produce, and undoubtedly wish to travel with. What corporate thoughtfulness, what social insight…what was I thinking?

Pre-baby, I knew I would never be one of those "traditional moms" who seemed to lose her mind and identity in a whirl of post-partum hormones. I was first and foremost a pilot. A fully instrument-rated, multi-engine, commercial and airline transport pilot and instructor. A woman in a man's world. No baby would ever stop me from flying.

Certainly, I thought, the reason most babies and children were such poor travelers was due to lack of practice. If you feed a child hotdogs and chicken strips, they will only tolerate Denny's or McDonald's. Feed a child sushi and brie and you will create a junior gourmet who craves fine international cuisine at the tender age of two.

Similarly, taking my tiny infant on plane trips piloted by me would turn her into a model traveler and junior pilot. I knew that my future two year-old daughter would sit happily for hours in the Mooney, enjoying foie gras on crusty French bread, while precociously assisting me with transponder and GPS settings.

Continue reading "Mile-high Motherhood" →

Upon finding out that I am a queer mama, there are a number of common responses I encounter. As I don't have a sign advertising my "queerness" and veer towards the girly side of things (thus screwing up peole's weird ideas of what a queer girl should look like), I often come out after inquiries about my husband. (Because every woman with children clearly must have one of those, right?! That's a whole 'nother rant altogether.) This happens on a daily basis, from anyone to store clerks to other parents and caregivers at playgrounds.

Having kids makes you come out A LOT! I cannot lie – I get sick of coming out all of the time. It's inconvenient and anxiety-producing and awkward and taps into my own internalized crap. Not to mention that having to be the "educator" all of the time gets old pretty damn quick. But I owe it to my kids to be out and unashamed, so I try my best. (Some days are better than others).

I've encountered a number of reactions to my coming out…

Continue reading "Queer Parent 101" →