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ArchivesHow many middle names is too many?
It worked for me
Guestpost by
on November 23, 2009
58
Tags: names
Jasper Puna'ikaika Curtis Mayfield Kavanaugh Kaloi
We didn't find out the sex of the baby, so the names were generally gender-neutral, and, towards the end, centered around whatever food I was eating.
For example, he started out as Lentil because I read on a website that babies are the size of Lentil beans around 6 weeks. He remained Lentil until the 17th week of our pregnancy, when I first felt him kick, and he became Thumpy. After that, our baby was Rolly, Mango, Orange, Thumper, etc.
Even though we didn't find out the sex, I was sure that my mother's intuition was telling me we were having a girl, so all of our naming discussions usually focused on girl names. We joked about naming our baby Curtis Mayfield after the late and great musician, but didn't really plan on doing so because I just kneeeew that it was a girl.
One night, I think around 29 weeks or so, I suddenly realized we didn't have ANY boy names, so I naturally had a fit and demanded that we come up with one. I sat on the bed while my husband went through literally hundreds of names, and Jasper was the only one that stuck out to me.
I still didn't think it would be necessary, because I was so sure I was growing a baby with a vagina inside my body, but it was nice to have it in the back of my head.
Jasper ended up coming two months early, so pretty soon after our name discussion we discovered that the baby had a penis after all!
My husband's family is Hawaiian, and they usually put a Hawaiian middle name somewhere in the mix. His auntie suggested Puna, which can mean three different things.
We didn't like Puna on its own, so Sean (husband) added "Ikaika" to it, and Jasper's first middle name, Puna'ikaika (puna-rhymes with tuna- e-kie-kuh), came into being. In case you're curious, Puna'ikaika roughly means "a strong burst of energy and strength", and our little NICU baby was definitely that.
Three months later, we still had a nagging feeling that Jasper's name was not quite complete. We had moved out of state at this point, so we called Oregon's Department of Human Resources to find out how to add to our baby's name.
It turns out it's quite easy, and within a week Jasper Puna'ikaika Kaloi had become Jasper Puna'ikaika Curtis Mayfield Kavanaugh Kaloi. Curtis Mayfield has been explained, Kavanaugh is the last name of our midwife, and Kaloi is our last name.
So, six names! How many is too many?
About Stephanie:
I am a blogger, photographer, mother, and wife in the southern US.
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@ShmackBack said
I think lots of middle names is great. It is interesting and gives people a story to tell, such as you just have, about the naming, or how they were named. I have one middle name, the ever-70's-Lynn, Christie Lynn Thompson and no story to go with it. My husband however has a name that I think makes him sound like a Knight out of a story book, Phillip Brenton Merlin Thompson. I think there isn't a limit to the number of names that can be given, there should just be wonderful reasons and stories behind those names, just like you have.
nicholle said
I totally agree, especially if there are stories behind them.
Stephanie said
We totally almost went with Merlin!!! I love that name.
Amanda said
What is the legal situation for the little box on forms marked "middle initial"? The first middle name? One that you like the most?
Also, I think your kid should be able to spell his entire name by the age of six. So… get to work!
Stephanie said
He'll probably just put "P" for middle initial.
My husband actually has four names — Michael Sean Keali'i Kaloi. He goes by Sean, and for legal things puts Michael SK Kaloi.
And I think Jasper will be spelling his entire name before six…hopefully! We're working on all kinds of reading things already, we're huge book nerds.
The good thing is that Puna'ikaika is actually the only non-English name in the bunch.
whimsyvalentine said
Our kids (current and future) will have 2 middle names. we use Valentine ad our adopted last name at Burning Man so all kids will have that as their second middle name.
Stephanie said
I love that idea!
rodrigues said
I think we'll probably do a 3-name name (first middle last) and then we want to let both our kids add another middle name when they're older (like 10-11 years old). Could be empowering and cool, or could drive us crazy when the time comes, or both… we'll see!
Stephanie said
I love love love that! Maybe we'll let Jasper tack on another.
I'd also be ok if he chose to take some out, but they all mean something to us, so hopefully he won't.
Kayla said
As a woman given the gift/curse of two interesting middle names I would say that you should give your child some thought before you throw in too many. Not only does it make filling out forms confusing (how can I put my full name or initials if there is only room for one?) but to this day I still don't know how to properly spell my second middle name and always have to call my father to find out.
Stephanie said
If he ever wants to take them out, he totally can. And if there's only one, then he'll probably just use "P" for the middle initial. I don't think there's really a reason for him to have to use ALL of them, except very rarely. We're planning to unschool, so school won't be a problem, and the only other things I can think of are when you're much older, like licenses and whatnot.
vicky said
I can'ty spell my middle name either and my mum told me wrong on my wedding day, so my marriage certificate and birth certificate / passport don't match up. Hassle.
Christina said
That's going to be a mouthfull when he's older and getting into trouble!
I like the idea of a couple, but not too many. It'll just get confusing. I planned on making my maiden name a second middle name when I got married. Legally it would've been a huge hassel though. I'm still disappointed.
Alexandra said
That's a shame about not being able to take your maiden name as another middle name. :/ I actually did this without much trouble at all, but maybe the laws are different where you live?
@ChristineLeigh1 said
I don't believe in using standardized forms to determine what's normal. More power to you!
Our kids will have two middle names – a given and my surname.
Stephanie said
Neither do I!
Stephanie said
I sent you a twitter request, by the way.
Buttercup said
I have two middle names and a hyphenated last name. My husband and friends tease me about it, but I know the two people I was named after and my last name is pretty memorable with my first name.
Make sure that your child knows the story behind each name given to them – it's loads more fun! I am happy that I knew the reasoning behind each middle name – both people were alive for a while during my childhood and then passed away when I was in my teens. I remember them both when I write my full name down every time and it keeps them fresh in my memory.
And as far as legal forms go – you should use the initial of your first middle name if you are restricted to just one space.
Happy to be a multi-named kid – L.D.E.B-P
Stephanie said
Thank you for your comment! He will definitely know all of the reasons. Hopefully we'll make a trip to Portland once he's older so he can meet our midwife, and that way he'll have a physical connection. We're HUGE Curtis Mayfield fans, so I know that he's going to know that name! And as for Puna'ikaika…we'll have to visit Hawai'i a lot, I guess! ha.
Turk said
I hear ya there!!!! I have my name, a middle name I share with my Mum, a name I got to choose myself when going from childhood to teens, and a double-barrel surname that I CHOSE to use when I was 7 so as to honour not just my fathers family, but also my mothers.
Proud to be S.M.C.B.-C.
Hell yeah!
Marie said
you know in lots of cultures, multiple names or long names are the norm. In many African tribes, children have several names… their "first" or given name, their "day of the week" name, their "birth placement" name, their "religious name", and their last mane, and in some countries like Ghana, people also have "English" versions of their local name (Joy, Wisdom, Precious etc etc). Plus, in Ghana, hyphenated names are also fairly common.
So your name looks like this: First Name, Weekday, Birth Placement , Last Name (or last name- lats name)…but the child will go by their English name for school.
Some south Asian names are upwards of 15 letters! Yet, somehow, children can spell their names
So I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Stephanie said
Thanks! I love that. I have a friend who is Nigerian, and she has quite a few names.
A. Lyn said
Oregon is pretty laid back about these things. When I had trouble naming my daughter I made sure to look up the laws of our state before we left the hospital. She was named 'Baby Girl' the whole time in the hospital, and her first and last name was changed twice the first week she was born (I was pressured by her father to name her quickly the first time,) before she ended up with Magdalene Julie-Anne. Her middle name is there to represent before her grandmothers. I had always wanted to give her two middle names but I wasn't given the chance. After she was born her nick name came naturally (Maggie May) and when I get married next summer and I change her last name anyway, I'm sticking that second middle name in there! Magdalene Mae Julie-Anne feels like the name she was always meant to have, and I wish I was given the freedom I have now when she was born so I wouldn't have to have to go through all this.
Stephanie said
Maggie May is one of my favorite songs! And Oregon is/was amazing. I'd totally move back.
Jess L. said
In a totally different direction from all the other (lovely and meaningful
) opinions above, I sometimes feel like one middle name is too many! I personally never use mine and am not into it at all. At some point I plan to change it to my husband's former last name – he took mine when we got married and moved his "maiden" (heh) name to his middle name place, never having liked his middle name either. Lots of middle names with excellent stories attached to them are super, but I also feel like a simple first-last name combination would be enough for me.
When the time comes for us to put a name on the form for a child, though, I know that a middle name is really important – my Dad accidentally wasn't given one officially, which has caused him a shocking amount of trouble with official forms and the IRS.
Ann Verleg said
My dad, my brother and myself have no middle names and I have never met anyone else without one so it always made me feel special as a kid because I was always different from everyone else
So I guess not having any middle name(s) can be offbeat too!
Dina said
My grandmother has two first names and no middle name. It causes great confusion whenever she has to fly!
QoB said
what cool names!:) I especially like Puna'ikaika – fantastic meaning.
being a child of Catholic Ireland, like a lot of people here, I have my first name, my own middle name (after relatives) and then chose a second middle name when I was Confirmed (aged 12). I'm not a Catholic anymore, but I still use the second middle name sometimes, because the reasons I chose it (again, after relatives) is still valid.
My grandmother, mother and aunt all have the same three names – first, middle and Confirmation – just in different orders. Maybe it was easier for my grandmother to remember them that way?:)
A friend of mine has no middle names, and she does miss having one, so much so that she made one up for herself when she was a kid. so my two cents is probably give the child at least one and they can choose to use or not later on.
Ruby said
My little boy has one middle name, James. It's a name that I neither particularly like or think I will ever use, however, it was important for my boyfriend to include it as it's the name of his father and grandfather (though it doesn't actually feature in my boyfriends name.) Although I'm not mad keen on the name, I didn't feel strongly enough that my child needed a middle name to choose an additional one for him. I think I have such a relaxed attitude towards middle names and don't tend to place much importance on them is because my middle name is the fairly plain Anne and was chosen as a safe option in case I disliked my first name.
Naming a baby is such a huge responsibility though, and after giving our son his name (Eugene, or Gene as we prefer) I did have moments of doubt over whether we'd made the right choice. But at the end of the day, his name is always said with love and affection and I think that is what matters. And if he doesn't like it, he can change it when he's older.
And as for how many middle names is too many? Only we as parents get to decide that. Not government forms, grandparents or even tradition.
Sandra said
My daughter has a short first name and a loooong middle name (husband's grandmother) and we ended up baptizing her in Italy (where my husband is from) and there, the custom is for the godparents to each pick another name. so my daughter, who i was so careful to name something she could easily spell in kindergarten (Mia) ended up with one of those comically loooooong Italian names sometimes spoofed on tv. she's going to love having to spell those later on…
Stephanie said
Oh wow! I feel you. I'm glad Jasper is pretty easy, so he also won't have a hard time.
Mia said
I'm a "Mia" with a long Italian middle name too! It gets compliments all the time.
Kitty said
My parents didn't give me a middle name, and it's always something I've missed. The only middle name they liked began with a P, which would have made my initials 'APE' so they (thankfully!) decided against it. I also went to senior school with a girl called Sophie whose parents gave her two middle names so her initials were S.H.A.G. -not exactly a nice set of initials and her parents probably didn't think too hard about them before they named her. She always hated having her combination of middle names and ended up being the butt of many jokes for them. Moral of the story is to think before assigning middle names.
QoB said
good point about the initials! I know someone whose initials are I.M.G.O.D., which he finds hilarious, but his parents never realised.
Stephanie said
Oh I didn't even think about the initials!!
JPCMKK.
Hmm. At least that's not too bad. We thought about alliterating his/her name while I was pregnant, but it would have been KKK, which is DEFINITELY bad!
eliza said
I'm already a terrible parent because if this little nugget is a girl, her initials (without middle names, which we haven't fully decided on yet) will be FOK. And I totally don't care, because I've been holding onto the F for years before my husband came along with his K and insisted it be included, and I have no other girl names I like! Hopefully the middle names we pick out (one for his family and one for mine) will help…
On the other hand, if it's a boy, his initials (without middle names) will be AOK. Haha. A-OK, indeed.
I dunno. In school, I don't remember anybody paying attention to initials. There were so many other ridiculous things to get bullied for.
Ellery said
My poor husband's initials are BO.
My mother went OVERBOARD with my name. She thought about my initials, my monogram, the flow of first-middle, first-last, and first-middle-last, whether there were any nicknames for it (there aren't, for Ellery), whether it rhymes with anything readily (she forgot about celery), and whether it could be made an acronym for anything. She basically wanted to completely protect me from being made fun of for my name, or from having the same name as someone in my class in school.
Because she worked so hard, she has always felt this mildly weird super possessiveness over my name. Like, in high school I wanted my diploma to read "E.K. Lungmus," like E.E. Cummings, or E. Kate Lungmus, because I thought it was cool. She told me that it wasn't my decision because she took ownership of my name, and the whole thing would be on there because that's how she named me.
So, I for one wholly support the idea of giving kids cool names, being hands-off about it, and especially letting them add an extra when they hit a certain age!
Sunny said
Our boy has three middle names. One to share with his grandfather who passed while I was pregnant, one that raised so many eyebrows we couldn't use it as his first name, and one is my last name, since I just couldn't leave it behind. We're planning a second child after our wedding and we'd like their names to have the same pattern, and that's a whole lotta names to come up with. (We planned our first before our marriage – gasp! – but that's another subject)
We use the first middle name where forms call for a middle name.
@epistemophilia said
ok, now i need to know what the eyebrow-raising name is.
Stephanie said
Hahah, I need to know what the eyebrow raising name is as well!
PattiLain said
I've been torn up about the middle name issue. I've always loved having a middle name, but haven't made a choice about my future kids. I figured I'll change my mind by the time that rolls around anyway.
My husband and I considered giving our children four names – the first name, which is a name of our choice (which we've already agreed on), second and third names to honour his and my family respectively, and then a surname, which we haven't decided on yet, because neither of us changed our names.
But I've always considered the family issue as something irrelevant, and I've known people that disliked, and were embarrassed by, their stuffy grandparent names. I really just wanted to give my daughter my sister's name as a middle name because it's an interesting, uncommon name.
Stephanie said
He can always change it, and I really don't think it's going to be a huge issue. I have rarely ever used my middle name, and it was actually very easy for me to change my name when I got married…so I don't know. To each his/her own!
And I do very sincerely hope he cares about Curtis Mayfield and Elizabeth Kavanaugh. They have both been very important in his life!
Jennifer said
My father and my brother are both called by their middle names, which were specifically selected for that purpose. My dad's older brother died in infancy (well before my dad was born), and my grandparents still wanted to have a son named after my grandpa, but didn't want to use exactly the same name as their first son. So my grandpa, dad, and brother all have the same first name, middle initial, and last name. My dad and brother go by their middle name. If my brother ever has a boy, he'll probably continue the naming pattern. I like that it's both traditional and unusual at the same time.
chepkirui said
I'm happy to hear about other families choosing multiple middle names! Our daughter's first name and first middle name are both family names, and her second middle name is kenyan. I was born in Kenya and have a Kenyan middle name, and it was very important to me that that aspect of my family and history be an official part of our daughter's name. So, we called our Kenyan family as soon as she was born, and they gave her her name (based on time of birth). Thanks for the info on which initial to use: we've been wondering that as well!
Chepkirui
Ashley said
And the greatest thing, Steph…is when you sing his name to him! It's so cute
nic @mybottlesup said
WHO CARES about the name……… LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
drlebrun said
Very cool. Sadly, Michigan only allows for one middle name on a drivers license as I found out when I went to change my married name. So I had a hyphnated middle name for the longest time (I recently changed it again when I remarried). Anyways, my point was if an official form doesn't allow for more than one middle name, you can always hyphenate them into one super long name
eliza said
Dammit, Michigan. My BFF also just found this out when she got married and wanted to keep her maiden name as a second middle name.
Phoebe said
Great name!!
My husband is from a remote Indonesian island and I am Australian. When We got pregnant we had so much trouble finding a name that both cultures could pronounce and that had a good meaning for both. I liked Dante for a boy until I found out in Indonesian it means dept collecter LOL!!!
We decided to take both our maternal grandfathers names. His first name is Dena (you say it like Dennah-not Deana like everyone says!!)and his middle name is Patrick, He can become Paddy later is Dena is too weird. Dena Patrick Mawo Adung, I'm not sure what Patrick means but the rest means Kings protections under the skull power tree! I think names should have a cultural and family reference.
oops sorry very long!
@aikisenshi said
Some friends of mine had some trouble with this too, they each had a family-related middle name that they wanted to use, one was the first name of a grandpa (Mariner), and the other a mother (or grandmother's) maiden name, because that was a tradition (McMillan). They finally decided to go with both of them, and went on to try to figure out how to spell the first name, Conner or Connor. They figure that when he grows up, he can choose one or the other name as a middle name, or use both.